Dressing For Sexcess
A few days ago I went to a girlfriends birthday party. Yes ladies I dined gracefully until the lettuce was caught in my teeth. I drank until my ability to walk in heels was less than seductive. Unfortunately I did not make out with Mary, Stan, Richard, or Susan. However good times were still had by all, except Linda who got into a fight with her date and left early.
It was a semi casual affair. Do you know what that is? No 18″ miniskirts or 6″ heels. Blue eye shadow was completely and very thankfully absent. Simple diamond studs and cute tops, modestly cut I assure you. A few T-Shirts but mostly dress slacks and low heels. No, I was not wearing a T-shirt. Are you kidding? I barely wear them at home. I certainly don’t wear them in public. I got home late and slid into my favorite leopard print night gown. The simple flower print on my cotton sheets beckoned me as I washed my face and prepared for a quiet, relaxing, and restful night.
As I lazily stretched out in bed this morning, I stared blankly at my alarm clock wishing I could have just a few moments more, before the shrill whine began again; then it struck me like a thunderbolt:
Men want sex; not just that but they have an unquenched desire to do things that most genetic women will never accept or condone. In some cases they want something no real woman can give them. So they “dream” about us instead, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Men want and need to be visually pleased and aroused when they look at a woman, Why do you think so many girls are getting bigger implants? Think for a moment about how men describe us: babe, honey, hot stuff, sexy, and others too provocative to mention. Just look at what they want a woman to wear if the aforementioned isn’t enough.
True, men don’t think about sex all of the time but most days it’s pretty high on their list. If you look at what most crossdressers wear it’s a pretty solid indication of where they are on the gender spectrum. They dress in the most provacative way they can. No heel is too high and no hemline to short. They try to create a fantasy image of the woman they will never have. Why show a hint of a garter belt when your whole leg will do? It’s all about lingerie and the boudoir look with a body built for the pit crew of Nascar. If this excites you then that’s just dandy, but if you really want to look hot then follow along and take a stroll with me. Keep in mind that we women do like to go trashy on occasion also, but we have more in our closet than just CFMP’s. We also like to show off a little, and if you have been to a mall lately you can see why. Men are drawn to us because we fit the mold better than “real” girls do. Nothing is to too trashy for us…Right?
Crossdressers especially do this with gusto. They all dress like hookers on the sunset strip. It’s all about the kinky and the slutty. For them no tube top is to too tight or to small. Just ignore the chest hair, beard shadow and 25 inch biceps. Why do they go to such extremes to look so cheap? Sex that’s why. They wish their partner or every girl they ever dated would have donned that obscene amount of slut wear just once. They desperately want a girl that will give them the trash look without the emotional baggage. These days the 20-something girls wander around in hip huggers with their thongs hanging out. A low cut top shows off what they might have in a few years or what their Mom bought them for Christmas. That’s the modern look for cheap and easy.
Read a profile or three or a dozen here and you will see an odd repetition of how a CD describes himself in relation to how the TG’s do. For the CD it’s all innuendo, and tease. For the TG it’s all feelings and needs. Heaven forbid you call them out on the kink factor though. As soon as you do the guy in a dress comes to life. The aggressive male attitude, the “hey it’s my own kink thing”, or worse the “don’t tell me how to enjoy my girl time” comments. I can always tell where somebody is mentally by this attitude. It’s all in how they communicate and what they say. Many of you will never be anything more than a guy in a dress. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all either. Regrettably some of you don’t even qualify for that. Hold on, Cool your jets my dear sister. This is not a condemnation. This is an EDUCATION.
Have you ever stopped to wonder why some girls here are truly stunning? Think for a moment and use that wonderful mind of yours to contemplate the answer. They are delightful to look at because they are showing you nothing. Nada. Zippo. They take their feminine side very seriously and it shows. Even if they are not the most glamorous or thin, the effort they put into looking good is evident. How are you going to seduce that cute guy or girl if you are unwilling to invest in your apearance? Well unless you put in the time and effort you won’t get the girl, boy, or whatever your you’re into. If you want your car to stay running and look good you invest in it, right? So why should this little adventure in gender bending be any different?
Recently while admiring some of the really amazing women on URNA I came across a very odd profile. I’m going to use it to illustrate the overall point. The description was only a few short sentences and had the usual buzzwords, “shy girl, new to this, just exploring my fem side”, etc. The photo was what really blew me away though. A nice looking guy in his twenties in just a t-shirt and underwear. No make up, no wig, not even a hint of lipstick. NOTHING. The very least he could have done was wear a cute little pink logo shirt. You know the ones I’m talking about. I almost bought one that had tinkerbelle on it but the satin kimono one isle over was so much sexier. Anyway, there was absolutely nothing in his presentation that even remotely said “woman”, “girl”, or “feminine”. He was just standing there stiff as a board with almost no expression on his face. Remember girls I’m not being mean or even catty. If I were I would reveal the identity of this profile.
As I looked on in utter dismay I realized that he is like a lot of girls on here. Could “he” become a soft and sensual “she” I wondered? I seriously doubt it. Why you ask? He just needs some experience you say. Well my loyal reader are you going to give it? Are you going to be the one that saunters up and says “you look horrible honey, but I can help you”. No, you are not. You are going to feel sorry for him or make a snide comment and go back to whatever you were doing. You can barely do your own makeup and stand in a somewhat feminine posture. How can you really help him?
Now for the second example, and I am going to be the victim of scorn for this one. When I went out for the very first time in public I looked hideous. Yes, believe it or not I did. I was overweight and wearing an outfit I have not worn since. My hair was still growing out so I had a wig on and that made me look even worse. My skirt was far too short, my blouse fit poorly and My make up was…..well lets just say I needed work. Obviously this was a very long time ago but still I did look quite silly. I can vividly remember how badly I looked. At the time though, I thought I looked just terrific, I’ve grown up since then and thankfully cast off my foolish ways. I know deep in my heart and soul that you can grow up though just like I did.
Girls it happens to all of us in the beginning. A large portion of you are just too arrogant and foolish to admit you look bad. All your “girl friends” tell you the same line too, “Oh honey you’re gorgeous”. Your real friends will tell you when you look bad, I’m sure glad mine do. In my case years later I met Aspen and she took me under her wing. When I asked her why, she was painfully honest in her answer. She told me that the only reason was because I looked as good as I did. I dressed so well and had obviously worked very hard and that’s what made me worth it to her. My effort had paid off, big time!
Now that was pretty rough on me in a lot of different ways; can you say ‘crushed self-image’. I’m glad she did it though, and that’s how I ended up modeling and performing. You see It’s very possible to go from foolish to fabulous and be the dream girl you think you see in the mirror. The challenge for you is that you have to work at it. You have to earn it. You have to show others how badly you want “it” before they will invest their time in you. The young boy I mentioned has shown no real interest in even trying to look good. Disagree if you want to but deep down inside you know I’m right. Believe me it’s really obvious who tries to look good and who just wants to play out some kinky dress up fantasy. Which is perfectly fine by the way.
So how does a budding CD or TG dress to maximize their appearance? Well it’s not as hard as you would think. You will have to earn it though. You will have to invest a lot of money and a lot of time to get it right. So here are some easy to follow and simple steps to dress for maximum visual impact.
The very first thing you need to do is put away the hooker stuff. Keep that stuff for when you get your new and delicious paramour. Being sexy and seductive is not about crotch shots and showing your knickers. Trust me honey you are not a 21 year old porn starlet. High quality moaning on cue is a skill and a talent you don’t have naturally. If you are showing more skin than you would at the supermarket it’s too much. Leaning over and trying to get the camera stuck in your cleavage is not only tacky but makes you look cheap and undignified. Anybody who sees you will only want you as a play thing and nothing more. Unless you have a fantastic figure, leave the lingerie under your clothes where it belongs. Very few of us can compete with the Playboy models and even if you think you can, don’t do it. Unless of course Hugh is cutting you a check and in that case would you mind giving me a call?
Next you need to be more expressive in your description. Men fall in love with their eyes and women fall in love with their ears. If you have a profile on URNA then it is pretty obvious why. Telling everybody you’re a CD/TG/MD/BF/DD/GQ whatever is pretty silly. Skip that stuff and tell us about you as a real person not the wishful hooker persona you think you have. If you can’t think of something or anything to write in your profile or don’t know what to say, take a day or so and think about it. Rome was not built in a day and your feminine personality won’t be either. It takes time. A really incredible amount of time to become a soft sensual woman. Shifting from an aggressive male personality to a sexy and seductive feminine one takes a huge amount of practice, patience and desire.
Tell the world where you want to be; tell people who see your profile what you can offer them as a friend or as a lover. Especially if you’re looking for another TG to date or get to know. I look at a lot of profiles on URNA and I know hundreds of girls here feel like I do about this. We also like to look but we like to read more. Give us something to read about the real you.
Third, take a moment to clean your room. The young man who was “exploring” that I spoke of previously was to too lazy to even pick up or move the pile of laundry he was standing on. That immediately tells me that if I did go over to his place to help him learn how to be more feminine, it would be a mess. We girls do not like dirty houses with a sink full of dishes.
One time I met a really sweet guy and actually did go back to his place. I know, it was a bad idea but he really was a wonderful gentleman to me all night long. Anyway, so when we walked in the door I was completely appalled by the clutter. You never know when you’re going to meet someone you want to be with. You also never know when you will get picked up or do the picking up, so clean your place, do the dishes, and vacuum a little. Ladies and gentlemen I can’t impress upon you how important it is to clean your house. Men want a woman who can be a good homemaker and if your place is a mess it’s a fair bet you are too.
The fourth thing you need to think about is your wardrobe. What you wear says a lot more about you than you think it does. Men especially base their whole perception of you on what you look like. Trashy, slutty, gothic, conservative, modest or sophisticated, whatever you choose to look like, has a social stigma attached to it. That perception can turn them away just as quickly as it draws them to you. If your clothes don’t fit your personality and self image, don’t wear them. Period. I know you want to look sexy and glamorous but you don’t need to show everybody you have a garter belt on to do it. We all wear them on occasion, so pull your skirt down and save it for when your you’re back at his place doing what girls love to do, and what we do best. Take the time to figure out what colors look good on you. You may think it’s silly but have you ever seen a neon orange Jaguar? Think about it, you haven’t, and you never will either. Do you really want to be a old Gremlin when you could be a new Mercedes?
Nobody looks good in a blouse that’s five sizes too small, not even you. High gloss patent red knee high boots DO NOT go with a sleek business suit. Yes I have seen it or I wouldn’t mention it. The “girl” in question probably is a size 16 and she was trying to look hot in a size 8. That is just a horrific sight for anyone to be treated to. Ladies I know how difficult it is to find things that fit. I really do understand your fears and your pains in this area. I sympathize with you. I really do. You just need to accept that not everything is going to fit you, and you need to stop trying to make it fit. Just because you’re too big, too tall, or whatever lame excuse you have is a pitiful reason to look atrocious. Take a look at 6ft 1in Kat Birch from London with her 36G breasts and you will get an idea. Size is no reason to complain or wonder whether you can look delightfully smashing ladies.
I have a ton of stuff that is just deliciously adorable that I can never wear. I hate how much I’ve spent on those items but you just need to sacrifice a little to look your best. looking good is all about presence, confidence and attitude; not what you have on. If you don’t have those, no amount of Prada will help you. One time when I was doing a show I didn’t feel like I had it and I ended up with more tips than any of the other girls. It was all my stage presence and attitude and not my insecurity about how fat I was or whether my hair looked good.
The fifth thing and most important when people see you. Twist, bend, and lean, more than you ever have. Women don’t ever do anything in a straight line. They are always twisted like a pretzel or leaning against something. You are not in the marines anymore so quit standing at attention. I’ve seen some truly stunning women do this. Including myself in the beginning. I know it takes work and a watchful eye to get it right. Most of what I have learned over the years has come from simply watching movies. Just watch how the women interact with each other, how they sit, how they move, and best of all you can follow along at home in private. So relax your body, lean against the wall and cross your legs. Twist your shoulders and let them droop a little. Don’t be so tense when you look at the camera. Ignore how uncomfortable you feel when you do it and it will pay off for you. Remember women don’t have boring old pockets, we have exquisite designer purses.
Finally, the last important little trick to improve your dating odds. Be confident and be interesting. Have something you’re passionate about other than stockings and heels. Guys want to hear how wonderful and studly they are, not where you got your nails done. Unfortunately I can’t help you with this one. I really wish I could, I just have no Idea how. Nobody does. Confidence comes from getting out there and doing it. Having a well written profile and a photo or two on URNA helps a great deal to build confidence. It’s nothing compared to the thrill of seductively swinging your hips and hearing the clack of your high heels in the frozen food aisle though. Start off small. Do something simple like walking to your mailbox. Before you know it you’ll be up on stage as the star.
So there you have it ladies. A few simple steps to get you from frumpy to fabulous. It’s really not hard, just leave the hooker stuff out of your profile and seek a more classic feminine image. Be passionate about how you describe yourself to others. Why be bland when you can blossom? Take a few minutes to spruce up your space especially when you get in front of the camera. You never know who is going to see that sexy satin bedspread you bought for a romantic interlude. Dress to impress not to solicit a john on some street corner; besides the better looking younger girls already took the rich ones. Relax and learn to stand and sit in a ladylike way. The more you practice the easier it will be.
The more natural and feminine you look when you bend over to pick up your car keys will pay off, I promise. I only wish I could help you overcome your fears and insecurities and inspire you with confidence but I just can’t. So I’ll leave you will a little trick that may help. Just open your front door and look outside, if that’s to too much, try a window and see how it goes. Once the cool summer breeze hits you, you will be hooked and before you know it, you too will be out and about…
With love,
If you have a suggestion for a topic you would like to see addressed feel free to write me through my profile on URNA. Also, feel free to Post and Comments below. If you would like to know more about me or are just curious don’t be shy, reply.