Ask Jane, Column 3

A Tranny Asks Jane, “Am I Gay?”

Dear Jane,

I think I’m having an “Ask Jane” moment, with my question being, “Am i gay?” I am an attractive, longtime tranny in London (you and I met a couple of years ago at a club here, do you remember?). I have been married, have children, and would love to marry again; finding a woman who’s into my trannying is unfortunately a problem, as you know.

In my tranny life, I have dabbled with the odd guy – no sex yet – but it’s nice, as I’m sure you know, being treated like a lady. For example, “David” is supposed to be my Master, but he’s really quite sweet and takes me out to expensive places in Central London, including the Savoy. He doesn’t “require” sex, just demands that I look nice … no hardship there since I adore dressing up! I am quite sure, however, that there will come a time when sex is expected. What to do, Jane?


Dear S.,

I remember meeting your lovely, sexy self in London, sweetie. Such a yummy girl you are!

YES, it is wonderful to be treated like a lady … The downside (and the upside) of presenting the lovely, feminine side of yourself to the world, of course, particularly for one as pretty as you, is that you’ll be hit upon by men. That’s just the way the world is … and the way men are.

However, wanting to be treated as a lady at dinner does not mean you’re gay, darling. It means you want to feel your femininity. Do you desire men sexually? Answer that affirmatively and it might mean you’re gay … but not necessarily. It might mean simply that by having sex with men you feel you fully inhabit your female self. (This is why labels are such a bugger. Too often they fail to address the nuances of who we are and what motivates our behavior.)

You (ambiguously) say you’ve “dabbled” with men … Have you wanted to “dabble,” or do you feel obligated? Remember, doll, that just because you love having your chair pulled out for you at dinner doesn’t mean you’ll love spreading your legs afterwards. Never, ever have sex with a man if you don’t truly feel desire for him. We women NEVER have to “give it up” because a man treats us nicely!

Allowing him the enjoyment of our company as we dangle over a candlelit dinner does not, for a true gentleman, create a quid pro quo situation. Sharing oneself in that very intimate manner with a man, sweet girl, is a gift, not a payment. And always, always a lady’s prerogative.

Thanks for writing, S. It’s lovely to reconnect.



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