SFBayTimes.com – By Sister Dana Van Iquity
Can you believe it? The Cookie Dough Monster Show is celebrating its THIRD anniversary! So naturally the Dough lady had to have Heklina, her inspiration, to co-femcee the party. The show took place in its usual venue, Harvey?s bar, and began with the spin-tastic talents of DJ MC2 and the glorious gyrations of go-go boys in their scanty panties. Two tough guys suddenly grabbed Bebe Sweetbriar and chained her up. Well, it was her fault. I mean, she shouldn?t have dressed that way – in that sheer, white, see-through lace mini-minidress: she was just askin? for it. But just in time, Cookie arrived to free her from bondage and lip-synch about the distressed damsel?s body: a ?Brick House,? and as the Commodores sang, ?The lady?s stacked and that?s a fact, ain?t holding nothing back.? For reals, y?all. Then Heklina was up to her usual tricks, grabbing a defenseless man from the audience, pulling down his shorts, and rimming the poor fellow. But when she came out from under that ass, her mouth and chin were covered with chocolate pudding. At least I hope that wasn?t doodoo from an unclean hole. Ew. Heklina is such a potty mouth! So of course she sang L7?s ?Shitlist? about all those who were on her bad side: ?When I get mad and I get pissed, I grab my pen and I write out a list of all the people that won?t be missed.?