From trans-plants to transgender, here’s the lowdown on all the sex-role terms…

TorontoSun.com – Mike Strobel

Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy. Boy meets boy. Girl meets girl. Boy is girl. Girl was boy. Boy meets girl/boy …

Man, oh, man, Pride Week is confusing.

I found this out while waltzing about in a velvet dress, Jennifer Aniston wig, 44DD boobs, and 4 1/2-inch heels for yesterday’s column.

The Neanderthals on the news desk wanted to headline it Gay For A Day.

Patiently, I explained most cross-dressers are straight, just a little eccentric.

Nor can you be gay for just a day. Any more than you can be Oriental for a day. Or tall. Or smart.

But you can be queen for a day.

Their eyes lit up and, voila, front page.

Today, to help guide you past the pitfalls of Pride, I have compiled a handy glossary. Cut it out and take it to the parades. Follow the players. Let’s start with the obvious.

[…]

TRANSVESTITES are real men, with all the parts. My headline could have said Transvestite For A Day. (Over my dead body.)

Transvestites are usually straight, often bi, and rarely gay. Drag queens do it for a living. Cross-dressers are hobbyists. They just have a thing for heels and lace.