Out and About with Michelle Hart – Column 12

What’s Love Got To Do With It

During the Napoleonic war betwwen Great Britain and France in 1805 the British government needed a respite from the monumental and unsafe task of handling it’s thousands of prisoners. At the time French prisoners were taken and confined in prison “hulks” or derelict ships. This was considered unsafe, partially due to the proximity of the Royal Naval dockyard at Plymouth. Daniel Asher Alexander was the architect commisioned to design Dartmoor as a fitting place to house these French prisoners during the remainder of the conflict. Construction began on Dartmoor by local British labour in 1806 and taking only three years to complete was finished in 1809. Soon after that the very first French prisoners arrived, and they were later joined by American POW’s taken in the war of 1812. At one time the prison population numbered almost 6,000 many of whom died and were buried on the sourounding moor. A memorial to those 271 POW’s who were buried in the prison grounds has since been erected.

Although the war ended with the Treaty of Ghent in December of 1814, many American prisoners still remained at Dartmoor. Both the French and American wars had concluded though by 1815, and repatriations had already began. On April 6, in 1815, 7 prisoners were killed and 31 were wounded when guards opened fire at the behest of the allegedly drunk British officer in charge, who thought that they were attempting an escape.

The prison laid empty until 1850, when it was largely rebuilt and recommissioned as a convict goal. Dartmoor prison was then reopened again in 1851 as a civilian prison. With the establishment of the prison farm in about 1852, all the prisoners remains were exhumed and re-interred in two cemeteries behind the prison. Dartmoor was closed again in 1917 to be converted into a home office work centre for certain conscientious objectors granted release from prison. It was again reopened as a prison in 1920, and
then contained some of Britain’s most serious offenders.

The most noteable incident in Dartmoors history was on January 24, in 1932, when there was a major disturbance at the prison. The cause of the riot was attributed to the poor quality of the food. There had also been other instances according to the official Du Parcq report into the incident of disobedience prior to this one. On one ocassion a model prisoner attacked a popular guard with a razor blade, and there were other reports of rough treatment when prisoners where being removed and sent to solitary confinement.

Until recently, Dartmoor Prison’s inmates have been some of the most dangerous and notorious in English penal history. Dartmoor Prison, reckoned in victorian times to be the hardest and most severe in England, has been in constant use from 1850 to the present day.

Well curious reader can you just imagine what that horrific leval of suffering could possibly be like? Huge stone walls surrounding you with armed gaurds ready and occasionaly eager to cause you great harm without a care. Meals of icky gruel and water. A very despicable living condition for anyone wouldn’t you agree?

You see my wonderful fans It’s about high time I made a confession to you. I have a terrible secret to reveal and I really hope you wont hold it against me but you probably will. I was convicted of a terrible crime manny years ago but to this day I still feel I was wrongly accused. When they came for me it was without warning, I screamed and cried for hours before being placed in a holding cell. I was lucky that very first night of incarceration though, because I did have a few visitors. Most of them just stared at me from the other side of the glass and some even pointed and waved trying to get my attention. I was so shaken and disorented that I just continued to cry myself to sleep while the warden walked by. I just could not believe this had happened. I was not supposed to be there, it just wasn’t fair to convict me based on such a woefully inadequate and curcumstantial case.

It wasn’t very long before I was transfered to a much larger prison and there were hundreds of other inmates in the yard. The fences were not very high back then so I may have been able to escsape, but I just didn’t know how. I just wasn’t equiped to deal with the reality of my very unfair and cruel summary judgement. I never saw the judge and there was no trial. The “evidence” if you could call it that was irrefutable so the doctor said. The gaurds spent years trying to reform me and I was punished severely when I wouldn’t submit to their attempts. I just sat in my cell, every single day all alone, and cried. Around the other prisoners I was tough and strong and always put on a brave face but it was all a meticulously contrived lie. Being abused by the gaurds was bad enough, but to risk being assaulted by the other convicts was even worse. This went on for many years and I was eventually given a parole but I was sternly warned that I would never be given a pardon or an aquital. I was just another sinister criminal to them and not worth the effort to reform or even understand. None of them ever wondered why I had commited the crime I stood acused of nor did they care to understand my reasons for it.

Even now, as delicious as my writing skills are, I can scarcely tell this tale without unending and painful regret. I never meant to hurt anyone even though I did. There was no other option for me back then, I was so scared and felt so humiliated and just knew I must be a really horrible person. I couldn’t stop myself and the whole situation spun wildly out of control like a hurricane on steroids. Like all criminals I started out small with petty theft and graduated to coersion to get my beautifully polished nails on what I desired most. After that I was committing fraud and using assumed names and fake identities made up out of thin air. Then it really became fun because I could have all I wanted, the world was mine for the taking. I had so much merchandise that I had to find increasingly more creative way to conceal it from discovery from anyone who got very close to me. I had to avoid being discovered at any cost. I was so ashamed of my crimes that I finally collapsed from the monumental pressure. It was over, I was caught and sumaraly convicted again by those who knew me best without delay.

It was so many years ago, and I’ve finally come to terms with my horrific crime. It took me a long time to finally admit that I was guilty, the jurors who convicted me were totally right. I was not the person that they believed they knew, I was just a deviant, my deeds were iniquitous and I have thus accepted it. Even now as you sit in wonder at this confession of wanton unrighteous by your sweet online seductress I’m still trapped behind those huge stone walls. I’m still serving out my life sentence in a cell block that is reserved for the most agregious and wicked offenders.

Well my lovely reader now you know my terrible past, the horrible secret life I have endured. Can you even imagine what it’s like for me or the shear torture and suffering I have endured? Those massive and bleak grey stone walls are all I was able to see for so many years. Watch towers with armed gaurds on patrol ready to take me down for any reason if I ever got out of line. My meals if you could call them that were the most icky and tasteless gruel. No matter what I did after being placed there my suffering has never ceased. I wonder if you are sitting there tonight apalled by my confession? Are you passing judgement upon me yet? Are you convincing yourself that I deserved the harsh treatment and completely changing your opinion about your lovely digital diva?

I’ll bet you did and and for my next vicious little trick I’m going to put you in my ugly orange jumpsuit tonight. Do you hear the gaurds comming… Knock… Knock… wakeup NEO

Each and every one of you who is following along right now is a notorious convict on just as grand a scale. That’s right you vicious criminal! Tonight there will be no comfy couch, nor will there be our usual delicious coco. It’s cold and tasteless gruel for you! Don’t wory about those bugs on the floor either honey, they live in the nasty old pile of straw you’ll be sleeping on. As usual prepare for your pennance because as utterly hideous as that tatered orange rag you’re wearing is I will show you no mercy as always. I know it’s really cold in there and so disgustingly dank that your body has scars from the infections but who cares you’re just a morally corrupt and contemptible criminal who deserves nothing from me. I really could care less about your proclaimed innocence, you ought to know that we gaurds hear it from you heathen scum every day. Back to breaking rocks you scallywag or your off to solatary for good this time. On second thought I’m going to drag you down there right now regardless of how much you beg me not to.

Do you see these key’s in my well manicured hands sweetie, do you want them? I’ll bet you do, but there is a price you need to pay first and in a few moment’s when I slam this huge steel door shut and leave you all alone with your thoughts you’ll finally see the light. You might even decide to repent. I seriously doubt you will, but there is always hope for even the most hardened recidivist like you.

Unfortunatly my loyal reader you will never see the light of day again nor will you ever repent. How could you when you really don’t want to anyway, I never did and you won’t either will you? It’s so much fun being wicked, it’s so exciting being a bad girl, there is such a deliciously perverse thrill that it became an addiction long before you even knew what it was.You see ladies I already know you are serving a life sentance also because even though you may think I’m the warden I’m actually still a prisoner just like you. Sure I may have the keys to the door but I will never be able to give them to you and even if I wanted to I could never set you free.

Even if I leave the door unlocked and turn my back you won’t ever be able to escape. This prison is so secure that no amount of dynamite can blast you out. Even a Herrenknecht couldn’t get you out of here if you had one. This prison is beyond maximum security my dear reader. As you sit there tonight just as I once did in your own cold and dark cell ponder this missive keenly as you discover the only way to escape this prison. You did create it after all…..

So whats love got to do with it you’re wondering by now? What`s love but a second hand emotion? What`s love but a sweet old fashioned notion? Well my naughty little yard bird as you sit there alone in the dark tonight resigned to your fate in this supermax prison of your own design I’ll tell you.

I recently celebrated my 21st birthday for the 20th time this year as many of you know. I could have spent it alone in my cell but I chose not to. I was just casually relaxing at home while I contemplated going out on the town. I decided to call Ellie to see if he would be working at the Cruise that night if I did brave the streets and go somewhere. Yessss the very same one that’s mentioned in the Dallas voice that had “banned” girls like us recently. Well Ellie and Ron were out shopping for fabric which everyone knows is Ellie Mae’s drug of choice. They hadn’t eaten lunch so we decided to make an impromptu stop and discuss his upcoming fall line. We had been planning on meeting since the devonian period anyway so it really was wonderful to be able get together on this particular day. I actually felt that Ron may have been more enthusiastic about lunch becasue I’m sure he was quite weary of standing in the parking lot waiting for Ellie to finish picking out buttons.

With our plans finalized I hung up the phone and dashing into my closet slid my pleasingly plump behind into one of my favorite denim miniskirts. I put on my favorite pair of sexy white knee high boots freshened up a little and off I went to go spend the afternoon with some of my dearest friends. Within Moment’s there we stood in the parking lot of The Olive Garden which has the best calimari of anyplace I’ve ever been. Incidentally if you haven’t tried the peach tea do so at your most opportune time because it’s simply to die for. Anyway, so in we went and the five of us had a simply divine afternoon meal.

At first glance that sure doesn’t sound like the behavior of a convict does it? Well my incarcerated reader that’s because I have a lot of acomplices in my life just like them who accept me for who I am. That my sinister reader is what love has to do with it. Ellie and Ron don’t care about my past or how short my skirt is, they love me no matter what. The fact that my only real crime is my desire to be a female doesn’t matter to them in the slightest. They see me and accept me as the woman I am and care about me no matter what color my jumpsuit is. For many of us though we’re still unable to escape the prison we inhabit in our own minds. Freindship and love from people like these is the only way out or your self imposed exile. It’s the only way to break the mooring of that dank and rotting Hulk you inhabit in the begining.

It doesn’t matter where you are on the road to transition or if you’re even planning on following it. Those of you who are struggling with what to do and how to find the courage to walk out the front door for the very fist time need this the most. Regardless of where you are you can find others who will accept you and think that you’re just dandy, becasue they are desperado’s just like you. Everyone want’s love and acceptance and it’s out here if you can brave the fearsome gaurd towers and scale those jagged stone walls. When I was born as I described earlier the doctor decided who I would be and never gave me the chance to protest the decision. My parent’s smiled at me from behind the glass and had no idea that I would be in a self imposed prison just like you for the rest of my life. I decided though that I was no longer going to be afraid, no longer would I cower in my cell on a dirty bed of rat infested straw. I escaped from my prison and you can too, but you will need help. I had many acomplices who aided in furthering my criminal enterprise and you will also.

You will spend hours, and before long those become weeks, and then it becomes months talking to everyone you know, sometimes in vain trying to make them understand. It will take time to explain why you’re trapped in a tiny cell and walled off from the rest of the world because of the hideous shell you inhabit. They won’t believe you’re an inmate or a convict punished for a crime you had no idea that you had comitted. You are your own judge, jury, and executioner as you sentance one part of your mind to death in a quite often futile attempt to breath life into another. Our prison will hold us forever unless we can chip away at those huge stone walls and tunnel our escape.

Many nights I will meet girls who ask me what it’s like living beyond the walls of that prison. They ask how I escaped and the answer is surprisingly simple. IF you can handle it! You just need to grab those shiney key’s and unlock that big steel door and walk out into the light. Believe it or not when you look those cruel gaurds in the eye they are the ones who will cower without firing a shot. Those giant stone walls are actually a lot smaller when you get close to them. However the barbed wire is still very dangerous so be carful not to break a nail when you climb over it. Once you’re over the wall you will be able to finally see all the others who have escaped and left Dartmoor prison behind.

Those are the people who even though they know where I started, and the horrific nature of the crime I eagerly commited still love me. They care less about who I was and love me just because of who I am. So many girls wonder and question why they were convicted and why they were found guilty but that really doesn’t matter. The people in your life right now are your only salvation, if they truly care about you. You may not be able to see the absolute vision of yummy that you have developed elaborate fantasies about but they can clearly see who you truly are. Give the weight of that giant box of chocolate it’s due.

It will be valentines day soon as you know, and it’s looked forward to by millions of women each year. It’s every womans special day to recieve the most delightful notes of affection, Huge bouqet’s of colorful flowers or the silkiest and most sheer of lingerie. Strangely enough it tends to have so many straps, snaps, buttons and billowy maribo trim that I often wonder what dark and sinister mind came up with it. Whichever is the case worry less about those trinkets and relish in the knowledge that you are loved by someone regardless of your agregious crime.

I may not get flowers this year which is not unusual and I’m sure there will be no chocolate unless I buy it for myself. I probably won’t be wearing something wickedly sexy for a boyfriend or husband that accentuates my beauty either but thats ok. Besides, most of us don’t have an entire stage crew on hand to light it correctly anyhow. As wonderful as all of that may be when celebrating this special day I do have something that is far more precious than any card or expensive token of affection. I have the love and acceptance of my friends.

This Article is dedicated to all of you who love me. Consider this my valentines gift to each of you on this special day. Mona, Debbie, Stacy, Sandy, Ron, Ellie, Pat, Philip, Mark, DJ James, Mike D, Montana Reed, Kiara, Sally Sparkles, Lacy, Bruce, Donnie, Jay, Onyx, Chanel, Edna Jean, Jon (from URNA), Katie, Joanne, Fireman Bob, Frankie, Mellisa, Eagle (yes, you), Bella, Mike & Jody ( it’s still 3 to 0), Rita Fine , Aspen, Kelly, Vega Marie St. James, The two Tim’s, Silver truck Linda, April the weenie girl, Captain Dillon, Cooper, Horton hears a who, Vichils, Donald, Jessie, Heather Skyy, John, Paige, Victoria West, Cassie Nova, Krystal Summers, Maya Douglas, Jase, Lacienaga, Tow Truck guy, James, Jenna Skyy and so many others that I know and love to. Oh and ” D ” if you’re reading this even you also.

These are just some of the people who have loved me and have made my sentence bearable. Each one has given me the key’s to my cell and helped me escape…. Who’s on your list?

The next time someone asks you what love has to do with it, you better know the answer;

It’s everything……

Happy Valentines Day

With love,

Michelle Hart

If you have a suggestion for a topic you would like to see addressed feel free to write me through my profile on URNA. Also, feel free to Post and Comments below. If you would like to know more about me or are just curious don’t be shy, reply.