ABC.net
Paul van Reyk may fall well outside some people’s definition of a family man, but that doesn’t men he’s not a great dad. Paul is a gay man who has fathered children with several different women through artificial insemination, but rather than remain an anonymous donor, he’s been a loving father and a constant participant in the lives of his kids.
Paul’s a Sri Lankan-born drag queen and father of six and he’s discovered, as much to his surprise as anyone else’s, that there is no standard template for successful fatherhood, beyond that of love and concern for your children and a simple preparedness to be there and help. And Paul loves being a dad. “I couldn’t imagine my life without them,” he says. “I feel incredibly rich going into my later years, I’ve got this group of people with whom I’ll never be lonely. It’s a fantastic feeling to have these people travelling with me and being there.”
There are various ways Paul supports his kids. “Any financial assistance the mums have wanted at any time, they’ve always been able to access,” he says. “I’ve taken Mary on holidays with me and I look forward to a time when I can take the other kids on holidays. We’ve spent a lot of time together movies, shows, theatre, going to Raj’s band, working on assignments with them, discussing personal stuff as well.”
Sometimes it was tricky for Paul’s kids to explain their family situation. “Raj’s situation was quite complicated because, not only did he have a gay father who he didn’t see, and he’d been born through artificial insemination, but he had lesbian mums. And they were very clear to Raj about how he had to be careful of saying who [his] mums and dad are, and Raj went through a stage of lying about things and that was OK,” says Paul.