Reflections on He That Once Seemed Invisible

MountainPrideMedia.org – by Tobias Novak

The ?heartsong? in this poem is my transness, that part of my being where my sex/gender and body/mind do not match. What do I mean by transness? The answer is twofold.

First, I mean transsexual, or, the fact that my body and brain chemistry feel completely wrong. My transsexuality is the feeling that I was ?born in the wrong body.? It is the way my breasts hurt when I notice or think about them; it is the fact that my body does not feel like my own. It is that I look in the mirror and see a female body, but underneath I see a male body waiting to crawl out from underneath.

My transsexuality is what drives me to start T (testosterone hormone therapy), shots I will inject in myself weekly or biweekly for the rest of my life to make my brain chemistry mirror that of a biological male.