Chaser.com
Married investment banker and secret transvestite Malcolm Penfold has declared himself “completely flummoxed” by recent sartorial trends. As male and female clothing options increasingly resemble one another, the bearded 54-year-old has found himself alienated on both fronts. “Jesus Christ,” he wrote on an anonymous internet forum. “I swear I saw a line of fluoro kilts for sale the other day. Where am I supposed to wear them? In public, or in the shameful privacy of my own bathroom while the missus is asleep?”